A Dose of Church Culture... and then it comes home.

Back from BreakForth--a worship conference in Edmonton with thousands of others.  The general sessions were held in the huge Shaw Conference Center with the longest escalator in the world.  We got to hear motivational speakers:(Erwin McManus and John Eldgridge) and worship bands:(Brenton Brown and Matt Maher) and then Dave and I led workshops in drama ministry: (Word to Page, Page to Stage), true stories: (community connection with our elders and all ages) and on opening your voice for pastors and performers.

We were treated like Royalty: we got to stay in a posh hotel: (The Winston, downtown Edmonton) and all our meals were covered.  The breakfast buffet (glorious) was in the hotel and all the other meals were in the Presenters room at the Shaw where we had stimulating conversation with all the other leaders and speakers at round tables because we all had our "level 3" badge necklaces on.  It felt odd to be treated when the students had to fend for themselves with meals and drive to and from St. Albert (45 min.) every night where they slept on the floor of the Kobewkas.  A couple of the students seemed a bit lost and overwhelmed in the big city.  I was overwhelmed too, but I had a lot to do so I kept me engaged.

One good thing was having a booth in the exhibit center to represent Rosebud.  It was tough that the students had to take turns manning it, but Dave and I helped where we could with set up and take own and it gave some of the listless ones something to do, and it was great exposure for the school and theatre.

Being in mainstream church culture again was a big shock.  Dave and I found ourselves pretty stressed the night before trying to anticipate the climate of our students for the four hour acting workshop.  There's a pressure to be slick, so we had to breath and remind ourselves how much we know once it's right before us.  We had plenty of options ready, it was just a matter of beginning and shaping from there.  Thankfully, the first year students joined us for that intensive workshop and proved good examples and helpers.  It is right up their ally for Drama Ministry, (the class I teach them this term in Rosebud).

Dave and I got to connect briefly with Brian Doerksen and Wayne Cordiero in the presenters lounge.  They were open to us, but in the mass gatherings, there was such a sense of status for anyone up front and on 6 different projected large screens... it was confusing at times to hold on to what made good sense with the stirred up hype.  Thankfully, both Dave and I had genuine connections with a few individuals that revived our hope in Christians living in church culture.

As I passed by a prayer-cross a small woman with crooked teeth and a thick Mandarin dialect grabbed my arms.  "You are giving so much to the Lord's work!" she gushed so certainly, I wondered if I had ever seen her before.  "God is going to use you to inspire others to do great things."  There was such fervency and love in her eyes.  I just stopped, a bit choked.  "Thank you" I finally managed.  Then I sat down to scribble a prayer for the tree.  "You write down whatever you want us pray for" she continued, "and we PRAY."  Her simple strong faith was so powerful to me.  And here she was, on the bottom of the status chain from all those dudes in the Presenter Room.

When I got home again it was so important to see the boys first thing.  This was our first time away from them while in Rosebud.  They had a great time, but we needed to connect.  Donovan was very loving and Weston was just excited.

Over the next few days I've collected some significant quotes from Westi.

During prayer: "Thank you God for this food and for my family... and NO THANKS for cigarettes and bad guys."

This morning after he asked me if he could watch a video, I sighed and thought for a minute so  he turns his head to the side and says under his breath like this happens every time: "Let's hope this isn't a no."

He's all dressed up as Indiana Jones in these two pics.  And anytime he needs to stand to use the toilet he runs to us first saying, "I need to go 'psssssst'!"
The other day he came to me all serious: "Mom, I'm God's son."  I looked up trying not to appear to surprised even though my eyes were wide.  "Oh? ...Why do you say that?"  His gaze was level and serious.  "I'm God's son because I believe what Jesus said is true."  "Ah..." now it's dawning on me because I remember he had Sunday School yesterday.  "Right, Weston... to those who believe, God gives us the right to be called his children.  He adopts us as His own..."  --"Yeah, so I'm His son."  "Yes."  He just nods without smiling and walks away.

This morning he suddenly looked up from the Legos with a sad expression: "Mom, I'm afraid I'll be sent to hell because I use too many swear words." "Oh Weston," I say, "I really don't think so.  God is looking for a heart that wants to receive His gift.  A heart that longs to know Him and do good... especially after mistakes."  "I want His gift!"  "Yes," I say, "now life will be a series of choices for you.  Sometimes you'll do what's right and sometimes not, but every time, you'll be looking at your heart to see what's most important.  It's like (the older you get) God keeps asking "Are you willing to let me be the boss now? --How 'bout now?  --How 'bout now, even if it means others don't understand?  --How 'bout now if it means you're uncomfortable?"  ...Weston started to glaze on the last few statements and I realized I was trying to implement my understanding of almost 40 years into a 4 year old.  But I'm glad he's asking the questions.  I'm glad he's wondering and feeling and starting to discern who he is.  After being so disappointed in Santa I want to be careful to not serve him too many truisms I don't fully understand myself.  I think I should stick with the questions a bit too.  

Just like at BreakForth... a childlike faith stops me in my tracks more than all the big screens, soaring chords and light shows.  Yet it's always a mix.  I can't write it off, --that would be too easy and not fair; not true.

It was a good thing to do, if only to come home again and see my boys more clearly.