Friday, March 6, 2009

Feeling sorry for myself...






Oh of all things, Dave put on "The Lord of the Rings" soundtrack as I came home.  Wow.  There's no ignoring the emotional journey in that.  It makes everything about preparing dinner so heavy with thought. I miss my boys, and yet, they're so willful when I've been gone so much we end up having to correct them all the time!
  Dave and the boys watched our neighbor Kai Lassen today and they were good big brothers I'm told, so I'm glad for that.  That's Kai -- the blond one, photographed by Donovan who also took a picture of his favorite Pokemon: Pikachu.  Actually he took a whole series of photos of Pikachu leaping  that would make a good little film, but I didn't want to put them all on the blog as they are very bright with fuzzy resolution.  But I mention it all the same.  Donovan is EVER creating.  Especially on this "day off" again from school.
Today in rehearsal we had a run-through of the show in costume (I didn't know that was coming.)  Usually I try to bone up for the part we're likely to cover so I can get through it without too many panic moments for lines, but ugh! -- a whole run through?  That's a lot to pull off!
Morris is working his magic with the scene transitions so that they tell story and he's having fun incorporating the students in that silliness... but those complicated sequences take lots of time to rehearse and those are the only sections where I have no lines, so I'm left to pull out all the stops in a run.  It's scary.  I keep lowering my breath and I'm afraid I'll forget something or throw off my scene partner, or fall on the slippery floor or trip over the hem of my long velvet cloak and impale myself with my sword.
I am mastering more vocal and mental ability than I thought I could and again it comes back to deep breathing.  Sigh.  I'm exhausted though.  It's a long show and I'm 80% of the text.  'nuff said.  Morris is quick to catch me thinking of other things and commenting on my performance or worrying about my costumes, etc.  He is consistently barking my attention back to just GOING ON.  It's tough.  I wish I could hear more encouragement from him.  I have so many new things I'm dealing with it's hard to remember the right line and then not apologize for stalling when you're trying to put on a mask, wig, beard, heels, cloak and sword in the dark and still listen for your entrance cue in 16 seconds.
It sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself.  Yes.  I am.  [chuckle]  Well, somebody has to.  Right now I am bursting with the truth that I have never worked so hard handling text, memorization, energy and concentration.  "I Do! I Do!" is a close second... but this is harder.  [whah, whah, whah.... so there.]
And now, back to Leggos and the boys and a night of restful slumber?  We'll see.  

No comments: