Grace; it's not just for me

 Oddly enough, 

I have two similar situations facing me right now.

Two humans that are witholding opportunity from me that I am overqualified for and ready to engage in.  And yet, I don't have their approval.  They have their reasons, but unfortunately they are not curious about me and I feel quite misunderstood.

And then, there is an old friend who has offered two opportunities out of the blue.  Creative projects that I can participate in, be on a team, and not have to self produce the project.  Wow.

The Lord takes and the Lord gives.  (I know it's supposed to be the other way around, but I prefer this order.)

I want to see my opportunities and provision alongside the injustice, both big and small.  I seek balance of positivity and the wonder of nature to help me breathe and calm my anxiety.  It's not just an unconscious accident, but has become a willful intention and call to health and wonder... letting the girl in me take me by the hand and lead me to the grass and show me the yellow spotted "man bugs" and the sweet smell of the moist earth and the ever changing clouds.

The basics.  

Now if I can just get to bed earlier...

I'm grateful for the moment where I remember to look for and recognize grace.  God's grace.  It is generous and forgiving, and deep.

What I have to remind myself is -- that grace can then be extended from me to others.  While I'm wanting Justice to role down like a river, sometimes God's answer is not another's humiliation, but my humility.  I can register the injustice and then choose to lay it down, if I'm able.  God gives grace, so that I can dole it out to others.  Maybe it will spread like a good disease, like the fragrance from a sweet tree, like a cool breeze on a hot day, like a song that swells your heart, like a fresh peach pie, a firm banana, frothed milk with honey, or cool clean sheets.

As is spoken in our play, the cries of all my selves, past and future call to me 

Slow down

Stay healthy

And listen, when you pray.

It's not easy, but it is palpably better for my mental health and wellness.

I have a rose bush in my backyard that has three different colors all at once.  Thank you Lord.

...

More grace please.