Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The sacrifice of having it all






Ugh.  I know better, but I must admit, today I wanted to be pampered.  I had done a great but exhausting performance and after playing with my boys in the dirt and making supper, I wanted them inside, clean and helping set the table.  ...Yes, this was a set up for disappointment.  How could two young boys in the spring sun and dirt possibly be expected to obey such a ridiculous announcement?  Of course Mother must be too demanding.  They utterly wore me out by the time dinner came and I could hardly wait for Dave to enter that front door.  Reality is setting in.  Dave works in full time rehearsal and I am still in performance mode.  There are no elves coming in to clean my kitchen and the boys are as demanding as ever.  I actually found myself thinking, "I am Lettice!  How can I be expected to do all of this myself?"   Well... Let me now speak to some truly wonderful time this morning.  First of all, Weston and I saw a real live blue jay, crest and all.  We heard it first: such a loud and strange call!  And then we saw what the sound was coming from and we were startled and pleased.  The jay is such a big bird, and so beautiful.  So then of course we had to go exploring.   Weston dug out old great Aunt Marion's binoculars (through which he insists on using the large end to view) and off we went on foot.  He also brought his sling shot and I brought the mail key.  We ended up on the tractors where we raced Alice Chalmers vs. John Deere A and he won.
We saw a few more birds, but mostly strange trees and people.  Kjel is back in town, and so is Mike Theissen, so we chatted with them while Weston explored a pipe and then we travelled over to the playground.
They are paving the highway through Rosebud now and Weston did a good job maneuvering around the oily patch with his bike.  It's a good thing he knows what he's doing because he takes off like a shot and I can't keep up!  It's like his bike only goes in high gear.
Thankfully the show went well and so did Dave's rehearsal and now we're post dinner, post smooshy chocolate chip peanut butter cookie time and the "men" are outside planning the restoration and planting of Daddy's flower beds.  I like that the sun is still high and making everything beautiful, even if it wears me out a bit.  Dave and I both are still under the pressure of finishing student evaluations by Friday.  They are a challenge.  I hope to get to a few more tonight, but vying for computer time is tough these days.  I'm still trying to decide with David about allowing the boys to participate in the Badlands Passion Play.  They want to, but they can't really know what they're getting into and it would mean a lot of time and work for me...  I ask for prayer in this decision as I weigh championing their dreams and seeing when and where to sacrifice my own.  I actually have so much to be grateful for and only my own self to blame for taking on so much...  This is what happens when one tries to have it all, but boy am I tired.

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