A Dim Day

As Weston said, "this is a dim day." He's right. After weeks of clear skies and golden light, now the air around feels close, wet and cold. Definitely dim. Time seems to go by faster without tracking the sun across the sky. It's up there somewhere... behind that glowing cotton blanket of dirty white.

Dave and I have the day off but we've both been quite full of thoughts about our future, our home, our teaching and our kids. Things don't feel easy around here. I shared in another student emergency yesterday and wonder how school can bring so many people to a crisis. But of course, I was once under it as a student and wish now I had made even braver choices.

One good thing was that yesterday we made cran-apple cider and let it simmer on the back of the stove. The cinnamon smell helped inside feel cozy.

Our boys are quick to yell at us when we ask for help. That's no fun.

Dave and I are tired too. I might have to go see a doctor and get some antibiotics. I don't understand why my body lets my sinus infection go on and on. The weather change is tough then on my pressure points in my head, but it could be worse.

Dave and Weston made a fun little batch of tuna with marinated artichoke hearts. It was yummy. Then he opened a can of pears that I was eager to sink my teeth into, but right off I tasted something strange: fake sugar. Dave fished the can wrapper out of the garbage and was surprised to learn that sure enough, the pears were "in water" but with SUCRALOSE! Blech! I can't stand the taste of aspertame, sucralose, or any other fake sugar. It gives me a headache and makes me mad. I'd much rather have REAL sugar and know what I'm doing to my insides. Of course refined sugar is terrible for my body too. What I should be using is molasses or honey or something... I know.

Anyway... This Saturday I will meet with my dramaturge for my play "I Heard the Bells" in Calgary. It's been a long time waiting and I never imagined that I would not write during the waiting time, but it's been an interesting thing. My writing time has quickly been replaced with teaching prep and domestics. I wonder what I'll do after Saturday?

I'm in choir this term and I find some of the songs very challenging. My first alto part is hard to hear sometimes and it doesn't always resemble a melody. But I'm glad for the opportunity to sing. I wish I did it more on my own too.

Dave and Weston and I watched some fun videos this morning from "Improv Everywhere." We saw people freezing in Trafalagar Square for five minutes and other fun spontaneity on subways and airports. It got us thinking about Rosebud students doing something in Calgary around Christmas!

Today I am risking putting pictures I found on the internet showing refugees throughout the world.

I'm participating in a campaign for the United Nations High Commission for Refugees and I am very troubled. I think awareness can shift a kind of stubborn ignorance in our hearts and prompt us to kindness wherever we are.

So, on this dim day of thoughtfulness, I sit quietly and ponder. There's a stirring and a fear for action. Whether spontaneous dancing in a train station or helping refugees... there's a compulsion tapping us on the shoulder saying, "look around you. We're all human. We all need love. Don't ignore anyone."