I had the most amazing meal tonight. Oh my goodness, yes. Ray and Carol Wall (our pastor and his wife) hosted an Indian dinner. We made tons of Basmati rice and others brought butter chicken, coconut shrimp, spicy beef, chick peas, Naan bread, chutneys, mango shakes, you name it. And at the end we sipped on Chai tea and rice pudding which had been made ever so slowly and was so luscious and comforting. Ummm. I felt calmed with each creamy spoonful. Carol knows how to balance a meal and her generosity doesn't seem to end. I'm so grateful. My tummy is slumping over my waistband and needs some rest, but I'm so happy. I appreciate their company and hospitality. It was fun to chat with Deb Buck who is staying with them at this time, and to Paul and Heather Zacharias too. I don't get to see them as much anymore now that Fiddler's done. Funny, how you can live in the same town and yet not see someone for a week or so because of differing schedules!
My coaching with Samm tonight went well. She's really getting the knack of classical text. She had done an entire paraphrase of her Aricia piece and now it's really coming alive.
We did a run through ("stumble through") of Christmas on the Air today. I felt a bit rough with some of the singing. I long to be free, but it's scary for me to throw my voice out there and trust it will latch onto the right pitch and quality by actually letting go! I'm getting there, but sometimes I can't find that freedom/spinning place. I hear when I'm in and when I"m out, but it's a mystery how to get there sometimes. I think it's especially vulnerable for me because I'm the only one singing soprano, and often the melody, so I feel indispensable in this regard. Deb saw my fear and my struggle and she gave me a wonderful image. She said to imagine that someone's hand was resting and supporting me from the back of my neck. Suddenly I could open up and not feel so tight or alone. I imagined my mom's hand warming my neck and encouraging me to relax, and the sound came soaring out like it's been wanting to my whole life. Granted, I haven't mastered this continually as there are other word, rhythm, and pitch variations to keep in mind when singing,... but it was a great relief, and a very helpful image. I had to laugh because I forget that I always work better from an image rather than technique. And this image in particular stuck with me all day. It reminds me of the psalmist who says God is "the Lifter of my head." I want to remember that I am not alone when I am singing and performing. That if I let Him, God can take the weight of my fears and allow me to relax into my natural state of openness for greater communication and further inspiration.
I'm daunted as we head into week two. The upcoming rigorous performance schedule can be tricky for good health and balance. I'm scared, but I will start preparing now best I can. Thank God I've already done most of my Christmas shopping!
