Another day, another sigh

Oh.  Today I learned that the sensitivity in my left ear and the constant phlegm in my throat over the last year is because I have an acute infection in my left sinus and a chronic one in my right.  My doctor had prescribed a CT exam back in July and I only just got in this week.  Wow, that was strange: sliding into a big Cheerio machine and told to be still.  Saliva gathered in the back of my throat and after several concerned moments of waiting I finally swallowed, hoping that wouldn't smudge the X-ray.  Wow.  I've had an infection all these months!  That's scary because I don't like being so susceptible.  I wonder if the antibiotics will work? 'Course I can't get into town until tomorrow night... Dave thinks the pharmacy will be closed. Humm...

I sang again today, high.  It's been awhile.  It's scary hold

ing your own with 4-5 people.  I've got some old tension/grabbing habits.  I hope I can find the sensation of freedom and keep coming back to it.  I do not view myself as a musician.  I feel I don't get it technically, or that it just doesn't come natural like it does to "musicians", but I know I'm musical, and I have a strong voice that I am STILL coming to know.  Sigh.  Singing makes me feel so full and so fragile at times.  Acting is much simpler.  Dance is even more rewarding and fun.  I hope to do these things long into my life.

I miss my son Donovan.  He's away at school so long, 

and then he's so willful at home.  I need some time with him alone.  --Weston and I had a wonderful long sunny walk in the fields today.  We collected some dried prairie grasses for bouquets for the awards banquet this coming Sunday.  Tomorrow we'll collect more leaves and dry them and string them up in a garland.

Today when I pulled the frosty tarps off the garden a bumblebee was asleep on the face of a sunflower.  I stared at it, not sure if it had froze or if it was still moving.  Later it was gone.  Wow.  I think it spent the night out there.  I think we'll have to pull our tomatoes in soon.  This blanketing the garden each night is getting old, and the leaves are still getting bit.

Weston and I played "Easter bunny" with 3 of his stuffies: Brown Bear (of course), Soft Paws (the bunny), and Seal (Donovan's new puppet from SeaTac).  It was fun, but then Dave and I were trying to select Greek masks to buy for our advanced acting class and Weston could hardly stand it.  He kept pulling on me to get me back to playing with him.  I hardly got anything done all day... but I did get to play with Weston, and he's only four for a little while longer....